Thankfully, she has no idea what caused my arousal. I am certain that if she knew she was the reason for my tumescence, she would not only refuse to continue traveling with Helen and me, but my face would have received a rather resounding slap."He continued his surreptitious adjustment of his aroused manhood. All the while attempting to keep Christine in his line of sight."The last thing I need is for her to think that I am committing some sort of perversion while I look at her. Why does she keep staring at me? I would almost swear that the last glimpse I caught of her, it seemed I saw her eyes leveled at my member. And, now her cheeks are so red that they almost glow. Could it be that she does not find me disgusting?"He took a deep breath, releasing the tension from his body as he exhaled. With a well-seasoned control taught to him by Helen, Erik cleared all thought from his mind. He replayed every moment he spent in Christine's presence, from his first glimpse of her shadowed form. Perhaps some rest before my talk with Howard would help settle my mind.As I lay in bed that morning, I thought about what I must do. I must convince Howard that I have given up any idea of an affair. I must make him believe that I am his exclusively and that my request the other night was nothing more than the ravings of a menopausal woman. Surely he could believe that was possible. I had stopped taking hormone replacement therapy after the health scares. Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told Ginny about my confrontation with Howard. She scolded me for being so careless. She knew of my desire to take a lover. She does not approve. She warned me that Howard would never accept it. She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I can have my wonderful husband and another man on the side? I don't understand myself. It's not like I.
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